Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
