I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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