I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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