i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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