I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
