Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
