do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
