Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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