went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
