That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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