I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
