I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's official drugs can't kill me
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
