i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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