check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
