Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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