The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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