my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
