It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
