i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
