If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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