if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
