Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize