I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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