I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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