so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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