remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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