I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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