my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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