found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize