And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
