dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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