I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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