were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize