you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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