Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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