I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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