toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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