Whod you bang
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
