right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
