I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
