oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Less talking, more tequila
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Randomize
