that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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