guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize