Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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