oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
