You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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