What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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