I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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