community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
