Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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