Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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