nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize