I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
