Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
