The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
