Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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