Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
