Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
