I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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