You really coming over, don't trick.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
