With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
