After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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