Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
